Legion of Doom…for Beginners.

If this is your first trip with the LOD or you’re just a little confused as to what some of the things are, here is a short explanation of some of the more common things you will hear.



Drunk Shoes: A game similar to Horse Shoes with drinking penalties.


Holy Cow! Look At The Size Of That Moose: A name given to the 5 gallons of Long Island Ice Tea we mix when the keg runs dry.


The Professionals: An early name for Bob, Greg, Joe and Teddy. Given to them for their elaborate camping set up and cool camping toys.


The Beast: The name of a Blue 1987 Dodge Ramcharger that attempted to kill the owner and innocent bystanders on several occasions


Draxelflaffle: A word invented by Kevin. Loosely translated it means “Hold on a second, I’m puking.”

Fargelsnargel: A word invented by Pete in response to Draxelflaffle. Loosely translated it means "WTF did you say? Well two can play that game Skippy. So There!"


Naval Warfare: An adult beverage comprised mainly of Captain Morgan’s Spiced Rum and Admiral Nelson Coconut Rum with a little Coke added for color. Drinking this could lead to shooting at the dark with an old SKS.


Cooler of Cirrhosis: A short lived new name for the 5 gallons of Long Island Iced Tea we plan to make on the Fall of ’09 trip. It quickly became unpopular after Carl referred to it as “COC”.


Duct tape: A strong adhesive tape used to trap people in state maintained outhouses. Also used to restrain f***tards to trees.


Ranger Dan: Refers to any Georgia Conservation Ranger with repressed homosexual tendencies. They are easily spotted by their complete lack of a sense of humor, their deep abiding love of trees, and a chronic case of Assholeism. To be avoided at all costs. The best defense against them is sarcasm, as they cannot comprehend it. They become confused, mumble and walk away.


Ol’ Moley: A woman who works at the local bait shop. Named for the huge mole on her face, she is a master of stating the obvious.


Sambuca: Pronounced SAAAAM BOOOO CAAAA! It is an adult beverage that will make the laws of physics obsolete. Drinking it causes the gravity within a 20 yard radius to become completely unstable. Gravity becomes weaker and stronger in areas causing those who imbibe in it to fall to the ground at random. Sober people can be affected by this so give anyone partaking of it a wide berth.


Jobu: The little idol Pedro Cerrano worshiped in the movie “Major League”. Also the one we blame for all bad weather, acts of random drunkenness, and general mayhem in the mountains. Jobu is a prick and campers need to remind him of this as often as possible.


Jimmy Buffett: the official Bard of the Legion of Doom.


The Four Horsemen: Bobby, Jerry, Kevin, and Pete. When these four gather apocalyptic events are sure to follow.


Unspoken guidelines of the Legion of Doom.



The following are a few common sense type things that should go without saying.



Never run out of beer.


Don’t piss off the old guys.


Please refrain from throwing propane cylinders in the fire.


Drink all your beer once you open it. To only drink half is disrespectful to the craftsmen who worked so hard to brew your frosty refreshment.


The Jimmy Buffett cover of the Grateful Dead’s song Uncle John’s Band is far superior to any others that may currently be recorded or could be recorded in the future. This is not open to debate...ever.


Assholes are not tolerated in camp.


When running from a bear, remember you only have to run faster than the slowest person. If you are the slowest, I hear playing dead works. Good luck with that.


Never invite hippies into camp. They will crap in the trail.


Always bring rain gear.


If after drinking 2 cases of beer, something seems like a good idea…it probably is not.


Don’t spit into the wind.


Don’t step on Superman’s cape.


Don’t mess around with Jim.